I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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