Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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