I think my vagina is haunted
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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