I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
