I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
