I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize