Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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