just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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