Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I smell like Dick and happiness
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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