I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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