operation harelip BJ is a go
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize