all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I love having hate sex.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
do nipples grow back?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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