Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.

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(917): View more from New York City

So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat

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(703): View more from Virginia

Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened

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(919): View more from North Carolina

He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.

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(419): View more from Ohio

Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.

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(360): View more from Washington

just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.

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(858): View more from California

- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?

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