Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize