and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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