So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
