we have pet lesbian snakes
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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