I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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