we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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