The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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