TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
