She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
