maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize