i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
