I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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