Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
