Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
