i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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