come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
