Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
