yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
