I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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