you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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