It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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