I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
