i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
