I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
