U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
