If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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