goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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