their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
oh god the rape fog is back!
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
