what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
