Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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