boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
As shirtless as possible
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
