just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
