I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
