Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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