margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
