you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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