You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
