escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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