Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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