she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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