If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We talked him into tasing himself.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize