And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
