Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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