If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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