Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize