And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
