fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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